To us Earthlings, it's no surprise that we exist. We know how we look, where we live, and the languages we speak. Some of us even develop an interest in the possibility of other life forms in different lands. Do these other creatures know about us? If not, do they imagine us as being green with antennae, an odd number of fingers, and speak electronically? What if they are aware of us and know everything about us? What if we're being watched now, as I speak, by those very beings? The answers to these "what ifs" lie inside an observation video journal. This movie belongs to CX544 and FX355, both aliens of the planet E1. Their documentary is titled (translated, of course) "Terra Project".
"I can't believe these idiots have no idea we exist," said CX544 (we'll call him "C" for short, it likes it that way; and as for FX355, it'll be known as "F").
"I know, and they think we're the weird ones. One day, I just wanna fly down there and let them have a piece of my brain," replied F. "Maybe THEN, they'll realize they don't rule this universe."
"But, I like it this way, I feel like we have power over them! MWWWAAAAHHHHAAAHHHHAAAHHHAAA!!!!!!!!!"
F says, "OK, OK, evil genius, let's get back to work here. Do you have the measurements of their home?"
"Yes, master," replied C. "They're right here, I've been taking calculations for weeks now."
"Soooo... their planet doesn't even reach 15,000 km in diameter. In fact, it's 12,756.3 kilometers to be exact! Our team of robots has just returned after their week long journey to the center of the earth and collected rocks dating back to only 4.5 billion years. They have a long ways to go to catch up to E1. They gathered temperature measurements from the core as well as the crust with a range of 7500 E's (which happen to be equivalent to Kelvin)."
"Very good my child. Now, what have you of the people?"
"Oddly enough, they're quite different from us Eones. They have five digits per hand. What ever do they do with those extra fingers? But they seem sort of needed being that they only possess two hands. When will they ever learn?"
"Interesting, very interesting," said Master F.
"If I could be so bold as to suggest a trip to this not so mysterious planet."
"Whatever would you want to travel there for? That would be a waste of time."
"Well, to be honest, I've always wanted to experience what these Earthlings call "swimming". Their planet's surface is 71% water compared to our mere 6%. I wonder how they all fit on their limited amount of land. But could you imagine immersing your entire form into the water?"
"No, C, I cannot and that is precisely the sort of shenanigans that separate us from those idiots! If I ever catch any Eone on that planet, they'll have to deal with me!" exclaimed F.
Later, much later on this video....
"Master F! Master F!" screamed one of the Eones in the research lab.
"What is it child for Sol's sake?!" replied F.
"Master, it's C, it's...it's..it's gone!"
"What? You can't be serious. Have you checked in its room? And in the gravitron? How about in the shuttle? You know it likes to fool around in there even though it's not supposed to. But then again, when does it ever do what it's supposed to?"
"In this case, sir, I believe it did something he WASN'T supposed to."
"What do you mean?" inquired Master.
"I mean, one of our forms has just spotted it on that dreadful place that it's been researching. You know, that Earth place."
"For the universe's sake! You've got to be kidding me! I just warned that youngling that everyone was absolutely forbidden to travel there!"
"What would you like us to do about this matter, sir?"
"I would LIKE you to take your green little body and bring C back here to me."
"But Sir, what if C doesn't want to come back?"
"Just do it!"
C is retrieved from Earth by a fellow Eone who warns it of the possible wrath of Master F. It was reluctant to return because it was just getting started on its hands-on research not to mention C was not very interested in hearing what F had to say.
"What did you think you were doing? Do you know what sort of danger you could have found yourself in? You're lucky insanity is not contagious or I would have you exiled to Luna (wanted a link, but couldn't remember how to do one). What do you expect me to do with you now? You've placed me in a very bad position. I can't send you off to be tortured, you're my friend, but I can't have the others thinking I'm weak. How about a deal? If you come up with a clever way to make this all blow over without infringing on my power, I'll agree to let you go free."
"Sounds like a deal, F," said C.
Later, after C has had some time to consider its friend's offer and organize its research, C comes to a perfect conclusion. F will convince the other Eones that C was given special privileges to travel to Earth to conclude its special investigation of the weirdlings that live there. When C talked it over with the Master, it agreed to C's plan and here's what C had to present to the Eones about this other planet.
"My fellow Eones, I was sent on a top secret mission to another planet called "Earth". These people (as they call themselves) are very friendly and would like to make peace with us. They desire to come to our planet as well."
*Gasps from the audience.*
"Well, that debate will be left for another time. For now, I have information about where these people live. Although they look different from us, their ways are very similar to ours. For being such a young planet, only 4.5 billion years old, they know very much. Their planet is strange to me, though. When I arrived, I had to be very careful of the water, for it is all over their world. Their atmosphere was so thick consisting of Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon dioxide, elements we've never even discovered until I did yesterday. I landed my space ship on what is known as the Earth's crust. This is where their people live. I began traveling through this layer towards the center of the Earth, known as it's core, but I had 3,963 miles to go and the first thousand turned out to be not so interesting."
“Their gravitational pull was like weights on my form so it was extremely difficult to move around for long. However, I got plenty of rest for their days are merely 24 hours. Everything on Earth is on such a smaller scale than things on E1. For instance, Earth orbits at only 29.8 km per second (kilometers and seconds are quite difficult to convert to our measurements, but believe me, that is very slow). I considered continuing my journey to Sol for it was just 1 more au to go, however, I was called back to E1 concerning an emergency."
"Now, if there are any volunteers who would like to be a host group for Earthlings planning to vacation to E1, please raise your hand. Or, if there are any more questions about Earth, please feel free to ask them now."